Mudassir Kuloo
SRINAGAR, June 5: After three years of struggle due to poverty, Shabir Ahmad got engaged to a local girl at the age of 32. Then he got hit in a grenade attack and spent six-weeks in a hospital. When he got out, it was with a metal plate and rod in his left leg and a permanent limp. The girl whom he had engaged rejected Shabir, putting him in further distress. After that there seemed no chance of a local bride.
So Shabir’s family did the only thing they could – they asked an agent to find a girl from another state. Shabir’s bride came from West Bengal, from an impoverished family in Murshadibad. He was 38 and she was 20 when they married five-years-ago.
“What choice did I have? With a disability, this was the only way to get married,” says Shabir, a shopkeeper in north Kashmir’s Baramullah district. He is now 43 and father of two children.
He lamented, “Rarely does anyone in Kashmir give his daughter to a person who is disabled.”
The agent charged him Rs 30,000 for bringing the bride. Further the bride received Rs 10,000 ‘Mehr’, a payment mandated by Islamic law, in the form of money or possessions from the groom. While local brides are paid lakhs of rupees as ‘Mehr’, non-local brides from impoverished families are sold between Rs 10,000 to Rs 20,000.
Shabir’s case is not rare. There are hundreds of brides from various states who are married to Kashmiri men – mostly physically challenged, widowed men and even men double their age.
The brides are pushed into these marriages because of poverty, trafficked by the agents in many cases because they are lured by false promises. Children of such unions are bullied in society because they look different from the locals.
But for the men – these women are their only hope.
Mehraj ud Din, 47, hailing from Srinagar’ central Kashmir, too got injured in a grenade attack over 17 years ago. The incident damaged his right leg and disfigured his face.
After this incident, he did not find a local girl which compelled him to approach an agent.
“I was 40 when I married to a girl from Uttar Pradesh. She was then just 18 but I had no other option rather than to marry her,” he says. The agent charged him Rs 40,000. Further he paid Rs 15,000 as Mehr to the bride.
Marrying with non-local girls by old or disabled people is prevalent in Kashmir. This is because J&K has four lakh disabled people, which is the highest percentage of disabled people in the country as per the J&K government figures.
The number has increased over the last three-decade armed conflict. Hundreds have lost their arms, legs, eyes or having disfigured faces either by bullets, pellets or grenades. Thousands of people along the bordering areas in north Kashmir have also been disabled due to land mines. Both India and Pakistan have not ratified the international Mine Ban Treaty, which has been signed by more than 160 countries. Landmines are a globally condemned and banned weapon due to their inherently indiscriminate nature.
Similarly, there are more men than women in J&K. The female population is 47.05 percent and the sex ratio is 889 females for every 1000 males in J&K as per the government census.
Similarly, many former militants and people who remain psychologically affected by the turmoil didn’t marry at the traditionally marriageable ages between 25 to 30 years.
These rejected grooms are now turning to agents who provide them with young, non-local women whom they can marry.
“There is social stigma attached to us. People can give their daughters to drug addicts but not to a disabled person,” says Javid Ahmad Tak, a social activist from south Kashmir’s Bijbehara area, who runs a school for children with disabilities.
Tak, who was this year awarded the Padma Shri – India’s civilian award for distinguished service, is himself disabled. He was just 23 in 1997 and got caught in the crossfire when militants came to kidnap his uncle who he happened to be visiting. His spinal cord was damaged and he can no longer walk.
Tak has not married. His marital aspirations were also snuffed out by the Kashmir conflict.
He believes there is lot of “insensitivity” among people towards persons with disabilities. “Most of the persons with disabilities purchase wives from outside states even outside country. Persons with disabilities are not looked as productive, even when they are holding business. But sometimes it pinches when drug addicted are accepted who are not earning and earning persons with disabilities are denied marital knots,” he replied when asked his views on the practice of forced marriages.
The plight of non-local brides goes unnoticed in Kashmir because of turmoil.
Sakeena Bano, a resident of West Bengal’s Murshidabad was 18 when an agent told her parents she would be married with a young Kashmiri and in a well-off family. But once brought to Kashmir, she was forced to marry a Srinagar man who was 45-years-old.
“I married this man three years ago. I was new to this place and totally a stranger. Whatever I was told, I accepted. I came to know that the person whom I am married did not find local bride as he has some mental illness,” she said, with a distraught face. “Non-local brides are not treated well. We can’t even raise our voice. For me it was a forcible marriage but I remained silent and accepted it,” she said, who is now mother of two children.
She said her husband is sitting idle at home and is dependent on his brother’s income. “I am no less than a slave here who is getting two time meals. I have to beg for money from neighbours to fulfil my needs or to buy any medicines,” she says.
She has not seen her parents since brought to Kashmir. “My husband fears if he allows me to go to my native place, I won’t return back,” she said.
Miles away from Srinagar in south Kashmir, Rukhsana Jan, a resident of Sapual district of Bihar married to an old man two years before.
A friend of Rukhsana’s uncle approached her family and showed them a picture of a young and handsome Kashmiri boy as their daughter’s prospective groom.
“I was told this person is a businessman and will keep me happy. When I arrived in Kashmir I was shocked. They told me that I have to marry a man who seemed then 40, and has a big lump on his back which has made him unattractive to local girls,” she said, who is now 21.
She also helps her husband in carpet weaving besides manages her household chores and takes care of her five-year-old son.
“Some neighbours keep their children away from my son and call him Bihari because of brown appearance. My son has to bear all this because I was duped by my uncle’s friend who brought me here,” she regretted, while wearing ragged scarf over her head.
An agent, who wished not to be named, said most of the non-local girls who are being brought to Kashmir are from impoverished Muslim families of states like Westbengal, Bihar and Uttarpradesh.
“There is a network of people who are associated with this trade. We have people in various states by whom we get these non-local girls. We get these girls with the consent of their families who are struggling to get two times meals. Their families get a good amount of money only then they allow their girls to come to Kashmir,” the agent said.
The purpose of the human trafficking as per National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) is forced labour, sexual exploitation for prostitution, domestic servitude, organ trade, and forced marriage.
As per the NCRB figures, 2465 human trafficking cases were reported in India during 2018 involving 5788 victims.
However, only one case as per these figures has been registered in Jammu and Kashmir.
A senior official of J&K police give varied reasons why human trafficking cases are not getting reported.
“In Kashmir forced marriages take place because the practise has social acceptance. Nobody is complaining about these marriages as family of a girl is getting handsome money and they are being brought to Kashmir with their concurrence,” the official said.
The official said conflict was other reason that forced marriages were not being reported. “You will find non-local brides in every area in Kashmir but nobody will speak on their behalf,” the official added.
Ezabir Ali, a women rights activist said forced marriage has been a practice that has been going on in Kashmir since long. “Unfortunately no one talks about it as though it is not of much importance,” she said.
Ezabir says the practice of “buying cheap brides” from outside and getting them married usually to elderly persons or physically challenged person is a gross violation of rights.
“These poor girls are generally sold by their economically weak families as they have huge debts to pay or can’t make their ends meet but unfortunately people here have been taking advantage of this. This is against the tentacles of Islam to cheat a woman to marry,” she said.
She said there should be a social outcry on forced marriages irrespective girl being local or outsider. “Our religion has given women ample freedom to choose their partner,” she added.
Vasundhara Pathak Masoodi, who was the last chairperson of the State Women’s Commission, that ceased to exist after withdrawal of special status to J&K, said, “This practice is going unnoticed in J&K. Local brides speak up for their rights but girls being brought from outside remain silent. The Commission receives very less complaints from non-local brides,” she added.
Note: The story was produced by Kashmir Indepth. It was written as part of reporting on ‘human trafficking’, a journalism skill development programme run by Thompson Reuters Foundation
